Is my 14 month old “trying to get attention?"

My 14 month old played a lot of peek-a-boo at the dinner table last night while we were eating with friends, and the discussion had me wondering was it really just a way for him to try to be get attention while we were having adult conversation? Or could it be a more sophisticated way for him to be trying to have fun too and socialize?  

Babies have the ability to understand a lot about language at 14 months old. I know, because of all of the things I communicate that can prompt immediate action...get the ball, time to eat, want to read a book, turn off the lights, good job!! And since they can only say just a handful of words, they have to be taking in a ton more than they are able to communicate back.  

So sure, playing peek-a-boo is probably an easy way to get attention, but I don’t think it’s that simple. I think it could be a major form of communication for babies that should be encouraged. It could be that they are trying to have fun with everyone, trying to be social, and trying to interject their thoughts and ideas, just like the adults are as the conversation travels around the table.  

So next time you see a baby playing peek-a-boo at the table, they might be watching you and learning how to be social. They might be saying, hey, you guys look like you’re having fun, I have a thought you guys might like too, wanna hear it, here it is, peek-a-boo!! What do you think, yay, socializing is fun!! 

I still breastfeed

My kid is 13.5 months old, and I still breastfeed. Yay!

Don’t sweat finishing the nursery before baby arrives

This post may actually relieve some people -- I strongly recommend not trying too hard to finish decorating the entire nursery before the baby arrives. Even though you have way more time and ability to focus before baby arrives, once they get to be 6 months, 9 months, 1 year old, they start having much more appreciation for decorations and things on the wall, and they get really excited to see something new go up. 

Not to mention, adding decorations as you go keeps the room fresh and interesting, and allows you to put stuff up as you get to know your baby. 

The other advantage to waiting, even on some of the baby products and furniture decisions, is that nothing compares to the perspective you get after baby arrives -- you learn a lot when you actually have to take care of a baby. 

Vaccinations

We attended an informational session at Belly Bliss in Denver with an MD who practices integral medicine. Wish he was our baby’s doctor, but he practices too far away. Anyway, we learned a lot about vaccines, why so many are given in the first year, and we created a plan that worked for us at the time.

One of the things we learned is why so many vaccines are given in the first year of life. Some are necessary early but the first year is also kids go to the doctor the most – so one of the reasons so many vaccinations are given so early is because there is a captive audience. Anyway, we learned it’s okay to spread vaccinations out over a longer period of time and chose to do so for two reasons: (1), to be able to more easily identify the cause if any adverse reactions were to occur, and (2), to lessen the amount of potentially damaging ingredients put into our son’s body at one time. Read The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears if you want to learn more about vaccines, but remember, it’s a little dated, so don’t forget to cross-check the info with updated information.

So, you can create your own schedule, but we chose to follow the “Dr Sears” schedule for vaccinations, covered in the aforementioned book, which is one of the generally accepted alternative (and slower) schedules. Some doctors will even have this schedule on file – just ask. And after a year-and-a-half on the schedule, here’s where we are today:

If you spread out your kid’s vaccinations, your kid will have to get more shots. This was not a problem when our baby was in his first year. He’d get a shot, only sometimes let out a cry, and then go to sleep or nurse or just be over it really quickly. But right after he turned one year old, his awareness increased or threshold for pain dropped dramatically or something, because not only did he cry, he screamed, and he screamed all of the way home, and he kept crying, he cried when he saw his Band-Aids, and then he cried the next time he saw a Band-Aid. He was traumatized, and we haven’t been back for another set of vaccinations since, because we’re scared.

So here’s a reflection on what we have learned:

1. The younger a baby is, the more they may tolerate shots. I'm not a medical scientist, but they probably don’t have the brain connection to pain that occurs later or can't conceptualize or something.
2. Some nurses are better at giving shots than others. There was one nurse who would never make our baby cry when given a vaccination, so there is something about technique.
3. If we ever have another kid, we will still look into spreading out shots for the reasons listed above but will try to get as many as possible during the first year. If that’s not possible, we will consider giving all the vaccinations on the regular schedule to avoid having to get so many shots and seeing so many tears in the second year.

No one seems to share real-life information like this, so I hope this helps others make their own decisions.

Here are a few resources:

• The Vaccination Book by Dr. Sears has an alternative vaccination schedule we followed for reasons above. Just be careful, take the detailed information in and let it freak you out. Also cross-check with updated info.
• Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment, Parent and Family section on Immunizations – updated regular vaccination schedule, catch-up schedules, and info here: http://www.colorado.gov/cs/Satellite/CDPHE-DCEED/CBON/1251609960621
• Bryan Kono, MD - Stapleton Pediatrics –Practices integrative and holistic care – This would be our Doctor if he was closer and if we could afford it. He helped create the class on Immunizations and Circumcision at Belly Bliss, and led ours.

Top 10 takeaways from birth - a substitution for our "birth story"

I originally wrote out our entire birth story and decided not to post it. It was really long, and I couldn't imagine anyone getting through it. So, for this post about our “birth story,” I just decided to write out a list of what stuck with me the most about the birth experience, and here it is, the top 10 takeaways from birth:

1. “Nothing can prepare you for those first contractions” – a quote from a friend shared 3 weeks after her baby was born and 2 weeks before mine was born, and it’s very true.

2. Going into an anxious frenzy right before labor starts is real –If someone thinks you’re being really unreasonable or weird, and you’re close to your due date, suggest they let you be and make sure your bags are packed!

3. Don’t go into labor on a Friday night – you won’t be rested for the most unpredictable marathon of your life and probably won’t get the medical staff you planned for due to weekend hours. And let’s say you’re in labor for 24-hours—that means if you went into labor late on a Friday night, you’ll be up for 36 hours straight! Just saying. (Of course, this one is hard to control :)

4. Go over what is in your labor/hospital bag with your partner – perhaps even write-up a reminder note and stick it in the bag – I had my bag packed and the hubby was so great and brought it with, but I never requested a thing in it until I started getting ready to leave the hospital (out of sight – out of mind while in labor), and I really could have benefited from some of the stuff.

5. Remember, powerful contractions are good – resisting contractions or wanting them to stop or slow down is bad. Your mental state matters, so let the contractions roll baby.

6. Warm water either from a shower or a pool is very soothing during labor – I can attest to this first-hand; one of the most amazing feelings ever was sitting down into a warm, deep pool of water. However, I do have a side-note. Someone told me as a response to wanting to have the baby at a birth center: “you know, birthing pools can be so relaxing during labor that you end up getting too relaxed and unable to push your baby out.” Of course, I didn’t listen to much else that person had to say, but I did find the pool VERY relaxing and couldn't push the baby out. 

7. Being able to have free-movement during labor can really help labor progress – I was stuck at 7 centimeters at the birth center for many hours but quickly dilated to 9 within 30 minutes after being transferred to the hospital. That was after a walk outside to the car, a drive 3-blocks, walking in, signing papers, and transferring to the room. I feel strongly that a big part of the progression was moving around.  

8. The baby will come out no matter what your birth plan is, so focus on accepting wherever you decide to have the baby (or wherever you end up) and having the best people around you for support to help if any decision making is needed. This is why doula's are great. They will be the one service provider that stays by your side no mater what - their shift doesn't end.

9. Prepare to end up in the delivery room with a doctor you don’t know - it happens more than you think, and if you do, see if you can talk to the midwife or doctor about their specialties. Learn about what delivery methods they recommend but are also best at – see if you can ask them about their history and strengths – it might help you make decisions, if you don’t have a perfect birth. For example, I avoided a C-section, because I had an older Doctor who was apparently Zen master performing an old-school delivery method I requested.

10. A plan to have a baby in the hospital might be more predictable than having one at home or at a birth center – that is, if practicability is what you’re after. If predictability is not your top priority, like if you want to go for no drugs or a more subtle environment than a hospital, go for it, but I highly suggest getting a doula. A doula focuses on supporting you on a personal level through labor, physically and mentally, including major decision making that may be needed, and midwifes and doctors focus on delivering that baby - both important roles.

Let’s turn this list up to 11 – If you take the epidural, just take a little. If it’s not obvious at this point, I tried to have the baby in a birth center, but I transferred to the hospital for a lot of reasons that led up to petering out contractions and exhaustion – I was convulsing at the hospital until I had a little epidural, but they gave me a button to push for more medicine. Don’t use it. I ended up swelling up and not being able to push the baby out. And I was only pushing the button in fear of feeling pain.

And yes, I failed to push the baby out at the birth center and the hospital. But in the end, I won, because like I said, the baby will come out and he is amazing!

Bonus takeaway: In the car on the way to hospital, sit in the back and bend over the back seat through contractions. You’ll really thank me for this one.

Don’t say the “P” word. Placenta!

Oh my gosh. Did you know that people actually save their placenta and do all kinds of things with it?? Some people save it and get it freeze dried into capsules and take the capsules to ease the effects for several months after the baby is born…and I highly recommend it!

Yep, the birth center where we wanted to have our baby gave us all the information and made it easy, and the hospital despite their funny looks sent us home with the placenta in a zip lock bag in a bucket on ice, which went directly into our freezer, and within 3 days, hubby took it to a woman who encapsulated it for us.

I will admit, I was weary, but at about day 5 after birth, I was feeling what I thought was a major panic attack, and the capsules were looking at me right in the face. And when hubby said, TAKE THEM, besides trusting his advice, I really didn’t have another choice. I wasn’t in good shape, so I took them. And, by the end of day, I was back to normal.

What had happened is that on top of hormonal changes after birth, I was having a reaction to Percocet, a pain killer. I had stopped taking the pain killer earlier, but I have no doubt that the capsules are what put me right back into tip-top shape so fast.

The next time I had similar issues was one night at 12 weeks when it was time for me to go back to work. I was experiencing what my husband coined as reverse-separation-anxiety (he has the best terms) —reverse, because I am the mom and not the baby, and separation-anxiety, because I was reacting to having to separate from the baby for the first time, which probably included hormonal stuff.

I had gone to bed feeling an intense sadness. And hubby was there for me like a champ and again said TAKE MORE CAPSULES  You can take them consistently until gone or save them for when you need a few. You can even take them for non-baby related reasons, like if you will be having an especially taxing week. Anyway, I took them again, and those baby hormones were about-face stabilized by the time I woke up, and I never had another issue.

Here is a link to the women who encapsulated for us in Denver and some text from her site. Consider doing it, even though it might seem crazy in our culture: http://thegoodearthchinesemedic.com/about-my-practice/.

The placenta can be a valuable part of the post-partum healing process for both mom & baby. For thousands of years, the Chinese have used placenta as herbal medicine. Because placenta is a medicine in our Materia Medica, it has been analyzed for it’s chemical components. What the analyses show is that placenta contains birth and pregnancy hormones (oxytocin, prolactin, gonadotrophin, thyroid stimulating hormone) and various proteins. It is these components that may aid in this transition of motherhood, such as augmenting lactation, shortening bleeding time and preventing mood fluctuations in the post-partum days.

Two words: Breast milk

There is no debate regarding the healthiest food for your newborn baby: breast milk. So breastfeed if you can and long as you can. And if you can’t or won’t, you can’t or won’t. 'Nuff said.

The week after birth – what no one tells you

If you don't want to read the truth about the week after birth, skip this post, but I know there are women out there who will appreciate this information, because I know I would have and no one tells you about it.

• You will hurt. No one tells you how much you will hurt the first week after birth, and you will continue to hurt into the second week if you had anything less than a perfect birth. But you heal fast. I was ok by day 9. Plan for this. Have people there to support you with food, cleaning, laundry, and errands those first two weeks. Don't plan on giving all of those tasks to your partner. It’s critical that you and be be nested up in the bedroom able to focus on yourselves and the new baby those first two weeks – up to a month if possible.
• You will be leaky. Yes, I said it! And here comes the best kept secret advice anyone gave me…
• Buy one (1) package of Depends women's projective underwear (yes, adult diapers, lol). You will thank the lords above for this advice when the time comes. Wearing these are so convenient and allow you to recover and care for your newborn without added worry. They are like a wearable pad—not anything as bad as you think, and it's only for a few days. Ok, there, I said it. You can thank me later.
• You will need information. Have reference books/manuals for how to take care of a newborn no matter how much studying you did or classes you took – your mind will not be able to process like it did prior to birth, and you have never done anything like this before. So have some good reference books on hand. (The Internet is horrible when you need reliable information fast.) Click here to see the books I recommend.
• You may need external help with anything from newborn care, feeding, sleeping, pain control, or post-partum depression. Do not not try to do everything alone with your partner. Do not be afraid to reach out to a family member or friend, a healthcare provider, a lactation consultant, a lactation support group, or a post-partum doula. Too many people think they have to do everything alone--it's crazy! It would be wise to make a list of resources prior to having the baby, so that you don’t have to rack your brain trying to figure out who to call after the baby is born. But whatever you do, reach out to someone for any need - large or small. Anyone who has had a kid and caring service providers will bend over backwards to support you. They know how critical the first month is after birth. And just a little tip or encouragement here and there can help a lot, so reach out. Click here to see some great resources in Denver.
• You will be waking up every 2-3 hours. It’s normal and can be debilitating. And it take its toll. But it will end. If you and your partner need sleep to be able to function, there are strategies. Call a family member or friend. Our post-partum doula helped us put a routine in place for us to get sleep. Yes, it can get that bad, but again, everything gets better.
• You may need to feed your baby formula if breastfeeding doesn’t get going right away, so have bottles and formula on hand from day one and a breast pump to help get milk going. I recommend having powdered formula on hand for emergencies, because it can sit in your pantry. Liquid formula is more expensive and has no shelf life. If you end up needing formula regularly while getting breastfeeding going, you can switch to liquid later. Do not be afraid to give your baby formula; there is no such thing as nipple confusion for the first several months per our lactation consultant. Our baby went back and forth for 2 months while we worked out many breastfeeding issues.

Announcing Dylan James Moore!

[Here's the birth announcment written and sent by Dylan's daddy on 8/3/11.]

Hi Everyone!

(Sorry to take so long to get this update out, but this is the first opportunity I've had to sit down at the computer since our new little boy entered the world...)

Announcing Dylan James Moore! Born Sunday, July 31, 5:15 PM, weighing 7 pounds, 9.7 ounces. Both he and Mom had a tough go of it over the weekend, but both are doing well and on the road to recovery.

Stacy went into labor at 8:30p Saturday night. Our plan was to deliver with the midwives of Mountain Midwifery at The Birth Center here in Denver. Stacy, in classic Stacy fashion, was on target to break all land speed records for labor. She blew off the idea of "early labor" and jumped straight into "advanced labor" about thirty minutes after everything started. She was barreling towards the birth like a champ, but some unforeseen complications threw a wrench in the works, and we were moved to Swedish Medical Center at 8:00a Sunday morning.

Not being able to give birth in the fashion that we had both been so excited about was very trying for us, but we find ourselves now more committed than ever to raising Dylan in an atmosphere of wisdom, empowerment, and grace. We are still so grateful to have had the opportunity to pursue a natural birth, and everything that we learned while preparing for natural childbirth has served us well, even while we were in the hospital. For anyone considering their own birth plan, or for anyone just interested in birth stories, we would love to share with you the insights we gained from our experience in both the more natural and the more medical realms.

We love you all, and feel so blessed that Dylan will have the opportunity to discover all the amazing people we call friends and family.

Aaron (and Stacy and Dylan, who are snuggled together in bed resting right now... )

Belly mapping!

We’ve been learning about the importance of the fetal position for an easier birth and positions and exercises I can do to support our guy getting in the best position. The fun part of the process has been belly mapping to learn his position and being able to visualize he and his movements in my tummy, so I thought I’d share.

  

The best position for birth is head down, butt up, with back out opposite of mine; he can move into that position anytime, even a few minutes before birth. The position he is currently is a good position even if he never moved from it—with his head down, butt (“the bulge”) to the upper right, and legs to the upper left (see pic below).

  

When he was up high before last weekend, his legs didn’t have a lot on room to move, but I feel them on the left. Now that he’s moved down some since last weekend, he presses at least one foot pretty hard against my left side several times a day. I can feel the little foot bones with my hands. He must have more room to extend his legs now. It can feel quite concerning at times but is certainly part of the fun.

  

Below is a picture that resembles our guy’s position taken from the http://spinningbabies.com/ Web site. This Web site explains all about fetal positioning and belly mapping, if interested. The left picture below is easy to discern; the right is how belly mapping works–you draw out the types of movements you’re feeling and then map them to understand the baby’s position (on the left). 

Instructions for mapping:

• The mother draws where she feels a bulge (the butt) and the firm side of the womb (the back/spine)
• With words or with pictures, the mother or doula marks each quadrant where she feels:
• The biggest kicks, (legs)
• Smallest kicks or wiggles, (hands)
• The firm back, A big bulge (butt), usually up top, or on one side or the other
• If you know, circle where the head is, and
• If you remember where the heartbeat was last heard, draws a heart there.
• Leave out any parts you are unsure of, and just draw what you are sure of.