January 31, 2011

CYBERDOG — don’t mess!

Feast your eyes on our child’s first piece of clothing—Cyberdog! And straight from the UK no less. Thank you Aunt Molly and Uncle Bodhi!


January 24, 2011

The second you get pregnant, things do change

I hate to admit it, but things do change the second you get pregnant. Even though I understood on a basic level and always love my friends who got pregnant, I used to think they were sorta funny. They would not be as available, they would start doing other things, some of them would make major life changes. My impression was, you’re having a kid, why do you have to change your whole life?

Well, now that I’m in their shoes, you don’t have to change your “whole” life, but life does alter. I’m not talking about all the physical changes, but your future literally alters the instant you find out your pregnant. 

Where you could generally feel in control before, you’ve just entered into a whole new, unknown world. Your thoughts change–because your stream of consciousness changes. You evaluate time, money, relationships, your character, goals, and values–things you’ve had handled–it’s all thrown up in the air for re-evaluation.

And it’s crazy; it’s fun; it’s full of new perspectives, feelings, insights; it’s confronting, challenging, exciting. It’s an opportunity. It takes time. And that was probably what my friends were experiencing. Kinda cool.

Why Aaron wanted to have kids

Aaron purports to all that if it wasn’t for me, we may or may be having kids—that it was me who wanted them. However, if you dive a little deeper and ask him what having kids represented for him, you’d would be very touched. At least I am.

Aaron’s insight was that he could pretty much predict the rest of our life. To date, we’ve made things happen, we have fun, we are able to do a lot of the things we enjoy in life, but his point was, life is predictable. If we have kids, our future would not be predictable, and that would be an adventure.

January 21, 2011

Wow, love

I’m driving back from the Denver Tech Center this afternoon, on my way to an appointment, and I started listening to an audio book I downloaded earlier in the week on my iPhone, called Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives by Deepak Chopra.

The reason I was listening to this particular book is that it was the only one iTunes had for download, which was also sold and recommended by the prenatal yoga studio I’ve been going to.

The beginning was a bit touchy feely but eased up and started describing interesting details about the experience of growing inside the womb and connections baby makes with mom.

From early development, the temperature and comfort in the womb, to when the baby would start to smell and use its senses, to studies that show babies like food similar in taste after birth to what mom digests during pregnancy, to how baby experiences mom’s emotions…was all painted in vivid picture along with coaching, sort of guided meditation, for mom to connect with baby…and I was present, more than ever before, to the growing life inside me.

I probably got a fourth of the way through the book before I arrived at my appointment, where I had a 15-minute ultrasound -- I got to watch the baby for 15 minutes. Ultrasounds aren’t usually anywhere close to 15 minutes—they are usually much shorter—just quick check-ins to ensure everything is on track. But I got lucky.

15 minutes was long enough for it to seem like time stopped for a moment, for me to just watch, and I saw movement in my belly, settling and then wiggling, holding its own hands, crossing its legs, looking up, and more. And for the first time, I fell in love a little.

January 6, 2011

The alien graduates to daredevil status today

Our little daredevil hit a milestone today. He got his very first picture taken, and his heartbeat was visible through ultrasound. That means the little tyke successfully made it through what medical science states is the most critical phase of development. And so, we have graduated him from the alien feeding off my body to a welcomed daredevil in the making!

January 5, 2011

Today I learned my uterus is the size of a grapefruit

Per BabyCenter, my uterus went from the size of a tennis ball to the size of a grapefruit this week. What a strange and funny thought. But at least that’s clearer than last week, when it went from the size of a lemon to a tennis ball.

Uterus is the size of a grapefruit right now, and the baby is probably the size of that strawberry.

January 3, 2011

Because oxygen is necessary

I sit next to the kitchen area at work. From 11-1:30, the smells from microwave food have the potential to kill me. I do everything I can to breathe through my mouth, but it doesn’t take long to find myself not breathing at all. I’d leave for lunch, but I’d have to be gone longer than an hour.

Two potential solutions: Take laptop and hideout at local coffee shop and/or schedule all my project meetings during lunch time, so that I can be away from the kitchen, which will piss people off, but at least my precious alien will get the oxygen it needs to successfully develop some of its main organs.

January 2, 2011

A blast from the past – I got my old fat clothes out!!

I was 30 pounds heavier five years ago due to a slow and steady growth I undertook until I got out of grad school. Soon after grad school, as I started having more time, I looked at a picture of myself dancing at a friend’s birthday party, and I had an out-of-body experience. That girl is fat. That girl is not me.

After a few sad weeks of dwelling about how I had let myself go, I had an insight…the image in that picture was not a reflection of who I really am. Who I am is sexy and fit, and I knew that and was immediately inspired and in action researching how to eat right and get in shape. For a weeks, I was a bit lost in information overload reading the internet; I had never had to watch what I ate or exercise regularly (I didn’t even know how to really), but I didn’t give up.

Then my friend Michelle had her 40th birthday party. She had a major passion for cycling, so for her 40th, she created a charity where people could donate Bikes and local volunteers would fix them up and then they’d be given to less fortunate kids. Her party included a Chinese silent action to raise money, (like a normal silent auction, except instead of bidding, you buy raffle tickets and put as many as you want towards the item or items of your choice, later to have a chance to win the item.) The more tickets you applied to an item, the more chance you had to win it.

I was pondering down the tables looking at items to use my tickets on when I came across two free sessions with a personal trainer. I hadn’t even looked into personal training. I didn’t know anything about personal training, but I was so struck by the possibility of realizing my goal to get in shape, that I threw ALL my tickets in, (and I even bought more to up my chances to win).

Aaron was the DJ and MC for the party, so when it came time to complete the silent auction by choosing a winning ticket for each item, he was the one to do it! I was standing in front patiently, waiting for my item, and as Michelle handed him the bag for the personal training sessions, he said to the crowd in the microphone, “I know someone who wants to win this, and he looked at me.”

I was jumping up and down, and everyone knew everyone, so Aaron through in the comment, “and if she wins, I guess I win too – a  hot, new wife.” It was so meant to be! Aaron chose the winning ticket, and it was mine!! Everyone cheered hysterically, and I was ecstatic for this opportunity.

The personal trainer happened to be a good friend of Michelle’s who had helped her get into shape years ago, and she was at the party, so I got to meet her. She called about setting up our appointments soon after, and really, most of the rest is history. I ended up losing 30 pounds in four months. I learn how to eat right for the first time in my life, and I learn how to be active and never looked back.

Except today. Today I got out three plastic bins of my old fat clothes. The bins are even labeled, “Stacy’s fat clothes.” I kept them, because (1), I lost 30 pounds, the amount you generally gain during pregnancy, and (2), I had spent a lot of money them.

I’m glad I kept them. Most of my casual “fat pants” have awesome embroidery that must have been in five years ago, or maybe that’s what people in their 20’s like, lol. There are also lots of great work pants that are will in fashion, oh, and, there’s a pair of Citizens that I just loved and am looking forward to altering and wearing again.

What’s funny to envision is that once I get just a tad bit bigger, I’ll be wearing a lot of those fat clothes, which were my favorite clothes from when I was in my 20’s–that should certainly help me feel young at a time when it’s so easy to feel like you’re suddenly getting older.